GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!

So yes, I realize I've been away from my beloved blog for some time.  Obviously the holidays sapped much of my time and energy but then some major life changing events took place that made me rethink what was truly important in life: my family.
To begin, we decided to take a family vacation back in July that would be different from our usual theme park/beach vacation.  The fact that we lived in Florida made those types of vacation the easiest for travel with our three children.  Then my mother mentioned their property up in Tennessee and I thought, "this could really be a fun, bonding experience for our family".  So off we went in early July to Eastern Tennessee for a two week family vacation.  What fun we had!  The view from the house was spectacular!   With the mountains in the distance and surrounded by trees, we truly felt a part of nature and loved every second.  We visited parks including Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga, we ate real southern barbeque, and we just enjoyed each other's company for the time that we were there.  When it came time to leave, I cried like a baby because I felt so at home and I just did not want to return to my life in Florida.

After seeing our children run and play and have the freedom to be kids, we decided that it was time to make a change, we decided to move to Tennessee to the place we'd only visited once and fell in love with on sight.  I immediately got in touch with my supervisor at work and told him my intentions.  Knowing the move was inevitable, I figured he'd be the best person equipped to help me find a transfer with my job.  I was right, he gave me his full support and helped me in my search for an opportunity in Tennessee which after several months finally came to fruition in January.  Now the move date was set for 2/1/2012 and I was beginning my new job on 2/6/2012.  Life was good.

Until 1/16/2012 when I was relaxing on my day off from work with my husband who was also home.  We were having lunch when out of nowhere he let out this grunt and his face contorted into shapes and colors I've never seen it do before.  He was unable to tell me what was wrong and I just assumed that his shoulder had locked up (he has an old injury) and asked if he wanted me to call 911.  He kept shaking his head no, so I thought it must be his shoulder but I wasn't convinced.  After about 30 minutes his pain subsided and he was able to tell me that it didn't feel like his shoulder, that it was more in his chest.  Knowing that heart problems run in his family I was immediately concerned and insisted that he go to his doctor the very next morning.  He did and they sent him directly to the emergency room for testing.  After spending two days in the ER and with not too many answers we finally learned that he had a mild heart attack and that it may be due to a valve defect in his heart.  He was instructed to contact a cardiologist for further testing.  Once my husband returned home he called the cardiologist and the earliest appointment they could get was, go figure, 2/1/2012; our moving day.  At this point I had already picked up the $950 moving truck and the truck was loaded and house was to be emptied by end of day 2/1.  Panic set in because I was so worried about my husband and I was so worried about this move and I knew that no matter what, I had to be at my new job on 2/6 and the thought of having to move without him terrified me.  I didn't want to go without him and I wanted to stay to make sure he was going to be ok.  On 2/1 he went for his morning test and was told that the doctor thought he saw blood clots and the office, knowing that we were supposed to be on the road that day, began searching for radiology centers that could see him right away for more tests that the doctor required.  Finally he had an appointment for 3:30 in the afternoon in a city an hour away.  By this time I had shut the house up, turned in the keys and was sitting in my car with a loaded Budget truck and nowhere to go, waiting and worrying about my husband.  It was the most difficult thing to do to keep it together so my kids wouldn't see the fear and concern I had for their Dad.  FINALLY, he calls at 5:30 pm and says he's on his way but we still didn't have any answers.  By 6:30 PM we were on the road headed north.

The next evening when we were at our hotel after driving for 6 hours, he got the call from the doctor.  Though they didn't find any clots (THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE!) they cleared him to go ahead and leave (haha, considering we were in Georgia at this point), but said that he needed to find a cardiologist in Tennessee and continue testing because the valve issue needed to be dealt with.  Relief set in, and we celebrated.  Even though a valve issue is nothing to balk at, we knew it was treatable and that since we had caught it early, we knew that he was going to be OK.  Finally, on 2/3 we arrived in Tennessee and began unpacking our old life and starting the new one.

After I had a moment to reflect on what had happened in the preceding weeks, I realized that my biggest problem is that I have been trying to control my destiny myself and had been trying to do EVERYTHING myself.  It occurred to me that I needed help; that I couldn't do it on my own.  Some new friends here in Tennessee made my husband and I realize that there was one major thing we needed to change in our life and possibly the reason we've been tested SO MANY TIMES in the last few years.  We needed to get our behinds back in church.  We needed God to take over our lives, and I realize now that I need Him to take control and I need to LET HIM!

I've felt really bad that I hadn't kept up with my blog but the fact of the matter is, I write this blog about MY experiences with beauty and fashion and thanks to the holidays, the mounting medical bills and the move, my financial situation has not allowed for ANY extra purchases.  My "hobby" was put on the back burner.  I'm not going to sit here and tell you how amazingly wonderful something is if I didn't try it for myself.  That's not how I work.  I want to be honest with you, and share my personal impression and experiences with a product.  I will share new collections, just so you have the knowledge of what is coming and where you can get it, but I won't share an opinion unless I've tested it.

So now I'm back and I want to get back into writing for you (and for me).  I've been able to make some purchases and try some new things that I will share.  I'm also going to add fashion ideas to my blog because I think it's the total package that makes us beautiful.  I'm going to occasionally share some nuggets of wisdom because I believe it's what's inside that makes the outside sparkle!

I thank you for indulging me and reading this post (if you made it this far) and I look forward to sharing my journey in life, love, and spirituality as well as beauty and fashion of course!  Thanks and I'll talk to you soon!

Jennifer